04.25.04
ok, i have serious issues going on with me. i have two matt friends. one is hot and the other has become my stalker. i'm not kidding. the kid just shows up to my room whenever he feels like it, no heads up, nothing. he just shows up and to top it off, if he's got nothing to say, he'll just sit on my bed and stare around the room. creepy, huh? everyone tells me to tell him off, but dammit, i'm too nice. i can tell a girl off, but guys are different. you don't want to hurt their feelings or they'll end up being bitter and hating girls. i don't know. i mean, this guy used to appear nice, but now i see what's really going on. if i ask him to leave, he asks why. if i ask him to stop doing something, he either asks why or says no. wrong answer pal. ladies, take note: any guy who does not respect your wishes is automatically out of the picture. poof!...gone. now here comes the big problem. this guy is also an accounting major, like myself, which means that we will definitely have some classes together throughout the rest of our schooling here. which means that if i'm mean to him, i gotta put up with seeing him for the rest of the three or four more years we're here and i don't want to make enemies with people my first year in college. i was kinda hoping to make more friends than enemies this time around. but i don't know if that'll happen...i've got issues. this is not at all like high school, although at times it seems some girls are still trying to live that life. anyways, getting off track. so basically i gotta tell this guy to leave me alone because he's becoming real creepy lately. is there something about me that attracts these kinds of people? kinda like those odd-balls that start talking to you for no reason in the grocery store or something? maybe i just give off this 'i'm such a nice person' vibe that those people can't resist. oh well. i will figure something out...and soon.

now about the other matt. this other matt is absolutely wonderful, not to mention ruggedly handsome. he actually has manners! amazing! i didn't think there was a guy out there like him and somehow, i found him! haha i must be having a little bit of good luck. so the deal with this guy is that he appears to like me and wants to spend some time with me every weekend, which requires him to drive roughly 50 minutes, and sadly he's still in high school. yet i can't believe this guy is still in high school. the first time i met him, i thought he was a sophmore in college and had to be at least a year older than me. but he's actually like a year and a half younger than me. i guess one of the things i really like about him is that he makes me feel younger when i'm around him...and i'm only 20! seriously, this guy seems perfect. you only know you've found the perfect person when you find an imperfect person you see perfectly. so that's this guy, right? i'm not thinking marriage or anything, but come on, a hug would be nice. kimmie tells me it's so obvious he likes me, and yet, he's not saying anything. guys: women go through so much s@#t, make the first f@!#$%g move, will ya. it's not that hard. i don't know, i guess i just gotta go with the flow on this one cuz i hate making the first move and i don't think he's going to any time soon. plus, this summer i know i won't get to see him at all because i'll be moving home, instead, i'll get to see that jerk of an ex-boyfriend at work along with my ex-'best friend'.

like i said before...i have issues.